It has been a really hard couple of weeks. I have felt such a wide range of emotions. I have felt sorrow such as I have never experienced before. I have always been kind of a fraidy cat but now I have known what it really means to be scared. I have felt completely inadequate and at a loss for words. I have felt helpless. But, I have also felt a new appreciation for what I have. I have felt the love of so many people, many of whom I had never met before. I have experienced selfless service and been able to give a little myself. I have never been more grateful for the gospel in all of my life. I have gained knowledge and a new perspective on so many things. But, mostly, I have felt such inexpressible love for my husband and son.
My husband has had to face what no one should have to face. I know that my sorrow must only be a fraction of what he has experienced. He has carried such a burden and had to deal with so much of the "business" of losing a loved one. And yet, through it all, he has been so strong. He has leaned on the gospel instead of pulling away from it. He has depended on faith when he couldn't find the answer to some of his many questions. He has been a strength and a comfort to me. I only pray I was the same for him. He truly is my hero and I am thankful everyday for him and all that he is.
My son. How can I possibly express what he has meant to me these last few weeks specifically. I have gained so much strength from such a little person. He is the most affectionate child I have ever met. He is so generous with his love, not just to me, but to everyone. He won over family that he met for the 1st time this week in about 1 second flat. He has wiped away more than a few of my tears and replaced them with a sweet kiss. He lights up a room and brings a unique spirit just by being there. I know that Heavenly Father sent him to us first for this purpose. He knew we would need Noah at this time.
It will forever be my greatest honor in life that I am Chris's wife and Noah's mother.
8 comments:
Y'all continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. We love you!
I am thinking of you guys. What an awesome post, by the way. I just really enjoyed reading it.
It is hard to give a sister to a husband. I have had to do it twice now and it didn't get easier with you because you are my baby sister, but I couldn't have made a better pick for you.
You and Chris have both handled yourselves in this situation with grace.
You are amazing and I love you both.
It has been such a blessing to love Chris and meet his family! Phil is an absolutely precious man, thankful we got to know him. Love your little family of 3 1/2!!
Beautifully said. Love you girl.
I am so sorry for your family's loss. What a difficult time. You are so strong though, and I know Heavenly Father will bless you and your family for your faithfulness and endurance. Chin up (I know, easier said than done). You will be in my prayers.
~Amy Q.
P.S. I found your blog on Rachel's blog. Feel free to check mine out. And congrats about your pregnancy! And a girl this time. How fun!
Noah is such a sweet handsome little boy. I can imagine his extra loves have really helped. We love you guys! Let us know if there is anything you need!
You have a way with words. I loved your post. We are so lucky to know of and have the gospel. It is such a blessing in hard times. Prayers are answered in ways we need.
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