I'll Never Complain About Changing a Diaper Again

It's

here at Hozians, Inc.

Our method of choice? (well, technically not choice. more like necessity.)

That's right, the Nudie Method. I always thought it was insane when people told me they let their kiddos run around in the buff during potty training. I just couldn't see how you wouldn't be cleaning up 'accidents' left and right. We started day one (Monday) in big boy undies. Noah was really excited about his "Speed' (aka. Cars) undies. He went potty great the 1st couple of times but from then on he just kept peeing in his undies. In frustration I called the Potty Training Expert, Misty, and asked for advice. Her suggestion? Let him go bare bumed. I'm am sure she heard the uncertainty in my voice. But, I followed through and it greatly improved things. He only had one accident after that. I think it works because a kid can really see the mess they made. Day one ended on a better note than it began with thanks to Misty's advice.

Day two was going perfect, even with a trip to spend some time with Misty and her crew, until about 3:00. I had gone to the back of the house to dump some laundry on my bed. When I came back to the front of the house I smelled poop. Eden was closest to me so I scooped her up and went to change her diaper. Surprisingly, no poop. I was confused for a second and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I ran back down the hallway looking for Noah. He was perched in front of his computer in Chris's office. Next to him was a smeared in pile of...well, I'm sure you have figured it out. He had stepped in it and smashed it into the carpet and then decided to take a little stroll. My first thought was, "Chris is gonna kill me!" He is very particular about his space. I picked Noah up and threw him in the tub to clean him off. Afterward I had the very unfortunate task of cleaning the carpet. I made him help on the smaller spots and he was grossed out to say the least. He cried the whole time and kept saying "Yucky". Yay! Tell me about it.

Looking back on day three (today) it is actually quite comical although it has been a REALLY stressful day. I started him out in undies today and was gonna wait for him to tell me he needed to go instead of setting the timer. I would ask him every 30 minutes or so if he needed to go. It was going really well. One time he even tinkled a little in his undies but stopped himself and ran to the potty to finish. I was so impressed. Well, unfortunately the day went down hill from there. He ended up doing what he did on my carpet in his undies. Urg. I had just gotten him all cleaned up when the doorbell rang. I through the undies in the tub and went to answer the door. It was our Cook's Pest Control guy there to do our yearly INDOOR inspection. Oh man. I let him in, all the while cringing because the place reeks of poop. I clumsily explain that we are potty training and then avoid eye contact from then on out. My house was a disaster area and it stunk like...well, like poop. I am almost certain that poor man was holding his breath. And to top it all off, he had to inspect the bathroom walls for signs of termites and I heard him move the shower curtain aside, exposing the source of the stench. Who know what he thought. I am sure that after he left my dump he immediately called his sweet wife in their perfectly immaculate house and told her how much he appreciated her. Sigh.

About an hour later I went out to get the mail. I just ran out real quick in a t-shirt, pj pants, and socks. I was looking at the mail when I approached the front door so I didn't notice that it had been shut. Yep, my son had locked me out of the house. I yell at him through the door to unlock it right this minute. Well, that did it. He broke down into hysterics. Crap! I started talking sweetly to him and trying to explain how to unlock the door but he just couldn't get it. I was freezing, none of the neighbors where home for me to call Chris, Noah, and now Eden, are crying like someone had spanked them, and I had absolutely no way to get into the house. I went to the back yard to decide which window to break. As a last ditch effort I decided to try to get Noah to unlock one of the dining room windows. I had him pull a chair up to the window and finally, after about 15 minutes of me standing in snow that hadn't melted yet, he succeeded in unlocking the window. Let's just say, it was not a graceful entrance.

To top this all off, I had to deal with this from my other child.

We are officially in the 'climb-up-on-everything' phase.

Ilovemykids, Ilovemykids, Ilovemykids.